as though on the right lane but...

I wish i could help but i couldn’t, i’m sorry.

I wish i could be a better person for you, and lighten your burden…but i couldn’t.

I wish i could sort everything out as soon as possible…but i was procrastinate.

I wish i could love you to keep your tank full…but i was selfish.

I wish i could be there for you…but we were busy.

I wish i could be happy…but that’s always negativity within me.

I wish i could spread the joy…but i didn’t have that in me.

I wish i could be everything i have mentioned above…and yes i will!

.

..

…

…

I will be more helpful at home.

I will be nice ,ease your burden whenever i can.

I will start organizing whatever i need to as soon as possible.

I will be selfless to you and anyone else around me.

I will be there whenever i can, if not a phone call or sms to ask how are you?

I will be open and receive joy from the Almigthy.

I can do all these by God’s grace and His love shines upon me.

Driving like my dad owns this road.

On my way home from work, feeling very tired and sleepy on the road but thanks to the chewing gum *sweet* and the camera that make me stay awake. Flight was delayed (not common at all),  as frustrated as i am but had no choice to put on the smile and get to work anyway.

4 am on the road.

Traveling on the road at this time is a norm to me. And i thank God for the protection whenever i am on the road as few times i had almost got into accident. God is always here not only during good times, bad times as well.

No one else but me...

Flight was okay, despite of some grumpy-frustrated passengers. BUT i had the hottest flight ever so far, not because of any hot guys or girls, it’s the aircraft power unit’s faulty that we did not get any air-cond on the ground. Imagine the smell and kept breathing carbon dioxide in the cabin and with flies flying around. Soon, after take-off, everything seems to get back on track.

Dear Mr Nasty,

Putting a smile on her face is not paid by you , it’s generated from a person’s big-fat-heart.

Love,

Miss love-to-smile’s partner in crime.

reflection, once in a while would be good.

Of course it’s not the God’s calling yet but it’s the calling of art and creativity in me. I lost them once started flying, and i need to resume piece by piece and put them in order. If not, jet cannot fly….:s

Ahhhh…now i am feeling much better. Just like having a loud burp after a full course meal!! *BuRrrRrrRp*
Ooops!

Feel so good to come BACK, more to come…:)

Have been ‘missing’ from this world for quite some times as i had been living a very-routine 9-5 life. Yes, i have weekends to write and blog  but i was just plain lazy and didn’t know what to write though. So here i am again, writing to you and sharing the same old , maybe more open and more matured random thoughts. I took very long to figure out how to put the usual ads, widget, and etc etc. But in the end i give up, just be a ‘plain jane’ in this blogging world. Don’t bother if it’s massive or ‘canggih’ (high-tech), just a piece of my thought to share, not other stuffs.

Past

I have been a bum since Chinese New Year. Reason is my contract has ended with MAS and i was having a very high hope to go back to resume my service with them if they would call me few months later. So i thought i should just wait. I would say during these times, God has been really GREAT to me. He provides(a part time job in STM), He comforts(when i am down), He sees me through. I was pretty lost for not able to work as what i used to work, flying around and enjoying the privilege of traveling. I couldn’t really accept the fact that i am not working and counting a bit on family because they helped me out. I felt useless. While i was praying for directions, God opened doors for me.

He showed me His plan and it is also my desires: Living simple. I almost wanted to quit my job to take up Nursing course so i could serve the community and living simple, not in the world of glamorous and stuffs. Because i had a tendency to stray away when i don’t discipline myself and would give into temptations. Temptations like, spending too much, living too comfortably, all-about-me lifestyle, etc. I easily forget times, because i would always say ‘no time’ therefore means no time for people although i love people. But because of so much things going around in my life when i was working back then, i tend to overlook the little precious time with loved ones.

God put me through this way for not working full time for about 6 months plus, His plan indeed proven He had not forsaken me at all. I’ve learned to look at things from different perspective; having good quality of time with people; live really simple as i have not been shopping since Chinese New Years. *Applause* ;D I should not even been complaining why God didn’t give me a great job for these 6 months ,because i wouldn’t be learning to live like this and understand how to live within means.

Love

God showed me love. He showed me how to love people around me more, and unconditionally. As much as i hated to treat them nice when i was feeling moody, but somehow i managed to break that wall to show a bit of my love to them, i hope they felt it. And also at the right timing, He sent some one into my life not only love him dearly  but to learn to love myself too. It’s very true that when they said, ‘To be loved, one must learn to love themselves first. Otherwise, there’s no love in you.’ But i think if you love God with all your heart, naturally you’ll love anyone else without any barrier because in God alone we found love, and of all things, He is the God of love. He loves us unconditionally, He cares for us so much that He sacrifice His beloved Son to save all of us.

It’s never easy to love some one. As in whole heartedly; giving all the best you could; constantly thinking on his/her behalf; being selfless and able to sacrifice from time to time… To know how to love a person, it’s simple. Just look at Jesus, God himself. How He had always love us even we turn our back and deny His love, how much compassion He has for all of us; His kindness and faithfulness. Or take a closer look, look at our mother. Mother’s love is always unconditional no matter how bad we treated them by the way we talk or things we said. We know that this would hurt them but we are still doing it because we didn’t choose to control ourselves. We always think it’s okay if we patch things up after that, no it’s not when you think you shouldn’t have said such things and you still made the choice for doing so. How about if we have that compassionate love and live with it then learn to control our emotions/temper so we won’t hurt anyone unintentionally especially to those closest to us.

Relationship

Relationship is connecting with a person and there you build the bridge so the connection is always flowing. It’s not easy to build a smooth relationship with a person, asit’s always on a rough ride. All because we are human. Each of us are created to be different such as with different characteristics, thinkings, and behaviours…Just by thinking of the closest ones with us, do we have a really good relationship with each of them? Or just a couple of them? Or just by one? Or none? Why is that so? Aren’t they  the closest people around you?

Yes, we can’t get along with everybody because we will not accept one’s weakness and simply did not like his/her characters. Have we really tried to even accept a person for who they are? Instead of looking at how great we are that we overlook our own weakness too? Being such a stubborn cow and refuse to change oneself or accepting a person, that’s when a relationship is failing. Sisters don’t get along; friends ended up as enemies; boyfriends and girlfriends breaking up…

No matter what you will try you very best to build that foundation of the relationship right? That’s why it’s important…you won’t like it when you can’t communicate with people right? You won’t like it when you wanted to talk with some one when the other party block you right from there. Yes, communication is important in a relationship. You need to express your thoughts and concerns toward someone, you can’t just hide it within you as the other person will not know, there miscommunication exist in relationship and the bridges start to break.

Giving and receiving in any relationship is important. Giving all your loves, cares, concerns and receiving them all from the other person. Does it really matter? Why can’t we just give and give until we can’t give anymore. What’s the point giving when you’re not receiving? Because by receiving only you can CONTINUE to give. So that’s the point of by not just giving but receiving from the other person as well. In case you are not sure by what it means of the giving and receiving, it means you…(i’m feeling blank and i couldn’t think of anything to say. I’m sorry)-_-
God always warn us to have good relationship with Him, and also with people. Failing to do so, we will tend to be very distance from God or from one another. Jesus was sent down to glorify His name and so we are here to do the same like Jesus did. Jesus always had very close relationship with God by spending time to talk with Him and listen to God. He’s our heavenly Father, a Father who fills us with love, joy and peace all the time because He has a beautiful relationship with us. And He wants us to have that with Him. If we learn to build a good foundation of relationship with God alone, naturally we ought to build that up with people too, don’t we?

All right, i think i have pour out too much of my thought for this post since the last one. I’m sorry if you are having watering eyes (not tears of course) because you’ve been reading this post ith such small fonts. Opppsie Anyway, I have learned so much since i have been ‘on the ground’. I find this is a blessing God has given me, maybe sometimes you should slow down and take some time to look at your surroundings and ponder upon them. Stop walking too fast because the rest might not keep up with your pace. If you find this post a bit contradicting,i’m sorry but it’s just a piece of my random thought.

Of David. When he pretended to be insane before Abimelech, who drove him away, and he left.

1 ^[a] I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.

2 My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

3 Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.

5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.

7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

9 Fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.

10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

11 Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

12 Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,

13 keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking lies.

14 Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;

16 the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.

18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;

20 he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

21 Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

22 The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Sorry guys, i won’t be updating this blog as often as last time…but i would share some interesting and nice stuffs with you guys once in a while. Once again, thank you SO much for dropping by…I’m gonna miss each of you even when i’m not in this blogging world. God bless…^^

Recent Updates

I’m currently having a hard time to face computer screen as my eye sight is worsen. Today I went to check my eye power so they could change the new lens from the old specs i wear. The guy took approximately 45 mins to confirm my eye power but at the very end of the checking…

He asked,” Did you have enough sleep last night?”
I answered, ‘Not really, i slept for 4 hours only.’
Then he said, ‘Oh no wonder…if you didn’t have enough sleep then your eyes can’t focus and would probably the cause of being the incorrect power. Would advise you to come back during weekends after you have a better rest by then.’
I told him, ‘Why didn’t you asked earlier?!! Anyways thanks for the effort (of 45 mins)!’ -_____-”

So the outcome is…I still have to depends on my contact lens as my old-aged glasses is expired. I’m still imagining if i could be blind one day…

WAIT! I’m not here to share my issue, but is to share with you about this amazing restaurant’s signature dish, DUCK.

Yup, Duck King which located at Jalan University, PJ. It’s at this new commercial mall call Jaya One. There are many more restaurants near by with Secret Recipe is just behind; the Oversea Chinese Restaurant and other newly opened restaurants/cafe.

My second bro-in-law suggested to dine at this restaurant, he and his gang of friends love to explore new makan(eating) place. So i guess the food would be somehow mouth-watering?

The environment is clean as it’s still new. There is upper floor for customers who prefer a quieter dinning atmosphere. Duck King offers variety of food, from the most expensive range (RM 100++) to the cheapest (RM 10) per dish. You can order a-lar-carte style like the noodles, porridge, fried rice…etc,all in Hong Kong style. If you prefer to dine like the upper class people you could order seafood such as abalone, shark fin soup, and of course the normal seafood stuff like the crabs, fish, and prawns blablabla.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The early birds get the tastier food at 715pm.

Half an hour later, the crowds became bigger!

The chef in action

The chef with the hanging poultry.

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We had…

As we are the ‘orang miskin’ (poor people), I ordered a famous Duck Noodles for myself.

The extra meat from the Beijing duck dish, stuffed in the deep-fried ‘mantau’ (bun) This is more delicious than the one above. *slurpppp*

The Roast Pork And Barbecue Pork.

Their signature Bean Curd dish, homemade they claimed.

Pigeon herb soup.I’m adventurous…but not toward food.

The Bamboo Scallop, guess how much per dish? We ordered different styles.

…and a bowl of rice for each person, of course. hehe
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The food was good, and the service was okay because when the crowd gets larger, the service was slower (definitely). Otherwise, everything turned out fine. It’s a good place to enjoy good food, no harm trying. I would go back there for the other choices as i didn’t really get to try the porridge. Oh, they even have Dim Sum at 11am.

8-G, Block M,No 72-A
Jalan University,
46200, Petaling Jaya.
Tel: 03-79578919
Fax:03-79578909

Jomm, makan!!

Gunung Datuk,Rembau is about 2900 feet (880m) above the sea level. Up to the top we could look at the greenery and panaroma view of the whole Negeri if the sky is crystal clear. We took about 2 hours to reach the peak, including the time of resting and had our lunch; and an hour to ‘jump’ down! I was skipping down instead of walking until my knees became so weak! hiking toward this mountain isn’t easy if you are not physically and mentally prepared.

It’s difficult as it’s very steep and requires a lot of climbing instead of walking, unlike Gunung Angsi,Ulu Bendol. And Gunung Datuk would be a better choice for those who are nature lovers and adventurous as I found myself was enjoying the every moment of this journey to the top. My heart keep on beating until i could hear “doop doop dooop” when i slowed down in between. I sweat a lot so it’s a very good exercise.

It’s challenging because at times i felt like giving up and just wait for the rest from behind taking over me, but i told myself no! Never ever become lazy as i’m exhausted and yet cannot achieve my dream (to the top).

Directions to Gunung Datuk
It is easily accessible from North-South Highway. Take exit “Pedas/Linggi”, turn left immediate after the toll towards Tampin on the trunk road. Follow the signboard “Gunung Datuk” Go all the way to round-a-bout and take 12 o’clock exit to Pedas town. Countinue along the road until you come to the traffic lights at the end of the road. Take a right turn. Keep going forward and you will notice a Gunung Datuk signboard. Take the left turn and move on for 4KM. Keep on eye on your left, there will be a junction to the left. Turn left and yopu will passby a rubber estate. Go until you reach a “Y” junction and turn left. Follow the way and you will see a big “KERIS”. Here you are the Gunung Datuk.
*source from Henry Cheah*

Whoever is interested camping there, it would be a great adventurous experience ever! *Anyone keen? i don’t mind to join* We need to pay RM3 to trek and camp there. After all sweaty sweaty, we could get some drinks from the stall nearby, of course it’s not FREE lah. a can of 100 plus sold for RM1.50 and for a bottle is RM2.

I had thigh and leg muscles ache the next day a si skipped too much while on the way down. After all, it was a great adventure and would love to go again. The coming one would be on the 12th April!

Let me show you what i saw along our journey to the top…
Welcome to Gunung Datuk,Rembau

I love climbing!!!

Thank God for te weather on that day, not too HOt or even a drop of rain.

Don’t be terrified by the rocks

What I Saw…

Very calm and peaceful scenery from the peak of Gunung Datuk.

2 spiderwomen on the peak??!!

Termites (as usual)

Whoever loves mushroom, you gonna love these pictures as below…
Herb Mushroom *kononnnn*

‘Butter’ Mushroom(i name it myself)

the ‘Ling Zhi’

mushroom again, I think i’m gonna be rich by selling mushrooms only…*my idiot-ness came bck!*

I amost sick of seeing mushroom up there!

*FYI, I love to eat mushrooms!*And i just simply name the mushroom on my own, i’m not any of the mushroom researcher lah.

I Saw Life…
Mushroom again??!! Nahh…a new fragile life.

I don’t think it’s a mushroom…what do you think?

I Saw Flowers…

A bug buzzing the aromatic tiny flower

I don’t know the name of this flower but i always pulled out the pistil and sip it as it’s as sweet as honey.And definitely not this flower but i’m talking about some kind of flower which is similar like this one.

Hibiscus aka Bunga Raya, our national flower incase you have no idea of what so significant of this flower!

*Of course i did not take this up there, it was just right at the entrance.*

Bunga Kertas,sorry i don’t know the English term, do you know what is it call in English?

Then I Saw Trees, of course!

It’s a purple butterfly but it was shy.

I’m not sure what king of fruits are those, I don’t like this tree.

Rubber tree!!!! Always seen it from far so this is my first time being up close!

I’m A Nature Lover

I love scenery…so don’t be surprise if i say i wanna live in a jungle to be the ‘Jane’ and could meet my ‘Tarzan’ .

Anyone who went outdoor with me they would be surprised because i’m reflecting more like a indoor type of person. *haloee!* And i ould be taking all sort of pictures of anything! Yup, even a piece of paper on the road! I believe all this would happen only once so i would snap down whatever i saw so i could have a collection of my ‘rubbish’ memory. Then, i could share them with all my ‘cucu-cucu’(grandchildren) and pass them on to the next generation mah.

I was lighten when i reached to the top of Gunung Datuk as though all my burdens have been taken off. Despite of all the struggles i had on the way up, i kep going as i feel it’s worth of my effort in order to explore the wonderful creation of God. I was also eager to reach the top and never wanted to rest for too long because i know i could enjoy the very lovely scenery on top. Just like in our lives, no matter how difficult it seems to be, we should keep on walking with Jesus as we know God has set a place for those who believes Jesus in His kingdom.

The next hiking trip would be on the 12th April ,Saturday. And is anyone interested for Mount.Kinabalu,Sabah next year? It’s a must go!!!!!

Mount.Kinabalu(13,455 feet), here i come 2009!!!

For more informazie of the Gunung Datuk, please drop by at the links below:

For more of the pictures of Gunung Datuk taken by me, go here

My sincere apology to everyone, and thank you for the concern. A thoughtful friend thought i was kidnap and didn’t even plan to rescue me tho…*ahem* (what a ‘thoughtful friend i have ho, zhuge).Anyway, I’m sorry for being away for so long (just too long). I know, but i’m caught up with many things before that,same as now.

As I’ve mentioned in previous post ,I would be very occupied compared to last month. I was away for the camp, and now i’m back already but still feeling very lazy(not really) to blog because i think my eye power has increased. Imagine to look at the computer screen from morning to evening, and back home staring at the tiny screen again? I’ll be blind soon! Jokes aside, my left eye is painful when i look at the screen. To cure this annoying pain , i went to check my eyes and yes indeed my left eye is so blinded. Guess have to change my glasses soon. Why at this time? when I’m kinda broke…-_____-~~

Zmax Camp
Anyway, let’s talk about the camp that i went as a helper. I think i’m suck at leading the group because i’m not a born-leader, I’m more a follower but it depends. What i enjoyed the most is when i look at the youths (aged 13-15) gather around to know more about each other; Getting to open up more compare to first day; the jokes and teasing moments they had;the dos and don’ts they practiced; the BIG questions they always had on their mind…etc. I enjoyed because looking at them, reminded the ‘me’ i used to be. I used to be one of them, attending youth camps in those days.

I hope the outcome from this camp would make an impact in their lives. To live a life to the maximum…Because many of them, us as well still not living a life we should be. What’s our purpose in life? Have fun only? Have you ever ask yourself, “living the life to the maximum is just by having fun? Or something else?” Many of us are searching for something in our lives, but what is it?

We knew the answer but we are deceit by many unimportant things which we think they are VERY important. We know the truth but we chose to become confuse as we are diverted by the media and influences from peers. We chose to do things base on our likeness but not what God wants us to do. So, we are always confused and lost. Many people would think this is boring, yes you are right because that’s what i always thought when i used to be do-not-really-care person back then. I admit i got really lost when i disconnect from God. It’s not like when i’m back walking with God and i find peace and direction immediately. However, i do not feel the closeness with God yet because i’m still very inconsistent on reading the words of God which is veryyyyy bad for my walk.

So,i want to change now and hoping everyone could walk with me help me to grow…better in anyway. To be consistent in anything i do.

I’m glad i went for this camp, as it refreshes my mind and i felt God has given me a big slap on my face, “Wake Up!”. I was a little bit emo on the last day, probably the monthly thing. My tears washed off my sweaty face as it was really hot on that day. I honestly praying very hard for the ‘kids’ so they could bring this important message back home and lock it in their heart so they ould always remember, what’s their purpose in life.

Thank God for the weather too, because it was raining on the first night, then cloudy on our stream trotting day,and a hot sunny day on the way back home.How blessed we are during the camp. God is good all the time,and all the time God is good! Amen.

Updates
Okies, I saw some tagging thing fromMei Wah. Sorry gal, i think i need some times to do this tag thing while i’m rying my very best to post up few more updates. K? Thanx for remembering me as a blogging friend even i have gone missing for quite a while.

After the ZMax camp, i resume my work back at STM. Getting used of the working environment. Did i mentioned i felt so depressing for not able to talk at such a long hour at work? Probably i’m too used of working in an environment where requires a lot of talkings. *hehe* Don’t get me wrong, i’m NOT a talkative person, really!!!!!!!!! You’ll be surprised how quiet i could be at times…Some people wonder how did i qualify for this job since i’m such a quiet person. Hey, haloe…i’m quiet but i talk at the right time , okie…*ahem-ahem*

And sorry Val, will reply your mail soon. Btw, where have you been? *chehhh* I’m not the only one who gone missing though. ^.< Gunung Grandpa (Datok), Rembau. The trip was fun, those who didn’t turn out…you guys were missing out a lot ! *kakakakak*

For pictures taken during the Zmax camp, please click

Anyways, thank God the Election period has gone but i’m still praying hard for the extreme transformation of some of its State Government’s formation and also of the succeed of the ‘Deny 2/3 of BN majority in Parliament. Am proud of myself and everyone who had their responsibilities as a Malaysian carried out on the day itself. I was soooooooo nervous as i was alone at the school. The best thing is, it’s written : ‘ Do not use handphone while voting; Remain silent.’ at the door. When i was in the room, my phone rang! Soooo ‘paiseh‘ (embarrassing) . Of course everyone would look at you but their kind of looks were not that evil because i didn’t answer the call what! It’s only written, DO NOT USE THE PHONE not, Put The Phone On Silent mahhhh.

Anyways, the progress was fast and convenient. The blur case punya people like me also can find the way, so the EC has done a great job lah. After voting i rush off to KL again to work (again). See, i traveled back on Friday from Kl and drove down on next day, just to VOTE! *big applause to myself* hehe I almost didnt want to vote though because of some confusions running through my mind on the other night. hehe But in the end, I’ve made my choice, vote for a change!

March is here, and why is everyone traveling to Shanghai at this time? I come across 3 people are going to Shanghai at this month. Like Mr Kai Ming, Jimbo, and my old old school mate and also colleague Mr Chee Yang. But why March??

Okie, just because i’m not flying to any four season country anymore i lost touch with the changes of season! And my favourite season of all, SPRING. Yup, that’s the reason everyone is traveling at this time i guess…peak season. But except for Malaysia lah, our country’s weather now so moody. I always love spring because i love flowers mer…any girl doesn’t????? *don’t lie, if you answer is yes!* ^.<

So…i’m planning to take a day off on Tuesday as i’ really need a day off to rest and to plan stuffs for the camp as well. Wish me luck people…and Happy Springy ! ^^